Where we start from: Working with parents
Parents frequently turn to us for help when they feel overwhelmed by their child's emotional struggles, hoping that as child psychotherapists, we can offer solutions beyond their reach. Traditionally, therapy has focused on the bond between therapist and child, assuming it alone holds the key to resolving the child's issues. However, this overlooks the crucial role parents play in their child's life and ignores the inherent interdependence between parent and child.
Unlike adults, children often lack the cognitive and emotional maturity to express their thoughts and feelings independently. They rely on adults, especially their parents or caregivers, to navigate and implement changes. Yet, the conventional model of child therapy often separates the child from their primary support system, leaving parents waiting on the sidelines while the child tackles their problems alone during therapy sessions. This separation can exacerbate parental anxiety, impacting the child's recovery.
This disconnect from family dynamics fails to recognise that the child's well-being is deeply intertwined with family dynamics. While it's essential for the child to have a confidential space to explore their inner world, parents hold valuable insights into their child's behaviour, emotions, and development crucial for effective therapy. By involving parents, therapists gain a more comprehensive understanding of the child's challenges and can tailor interventions to their needs.
“... it is not solely the psychotherapist’s insights that will help the child. Rather, it is the therapist’s ability to communicate with the parents that will facilitate the parents’ insight, which in turn will promote their understanding of the problem and their relationship with their child.”
Furthermore, parental involvement promotes consistency and continuity of therapeutic goals and strategies beyond therapy sessions, enhancing the likelihood of sustained progress. Empowering parents to collaborate with their child in therapy shifts away from sole therapist responsibility, creating a supportive environment where both child and parents actively participate in the therapeutic journey. This involvement reduces parental anxiety and helps demonstrate to the child that their parents are willing to adapt and change alongside them.
Offering parental support during therapy also represents a democratisation of therapeutic knowledge. In the past the welfare of children was undertaken by the community, however our society has become increasingly individualistic and fearful of the wider community. Parents often feel isolated and often bombarded unreliable information from online sources about how to support their child. My belief is that isolation from wider community, and from reliable shared knowledge is part of the reason why we are seeing a rise in mental health issues in children and anxiety amongst parents. By sharing expertise and involving parents in the therapeutic process, therapists can contribute to a broader societal shift towards more inclusive and less isolated approaches to mental health care. This not only empowers families but also fosters a sense of community and mutual support in addressing mental health challenges.
Child psychotherapy necessitates a holistic approach acknowledging the pivotal role of parents. By recognising and utilising parental expertise, therapists can enhance intervention effectiveness and foster long-term positive outcomes for the child and family as a whole.
